Are You a Rollergirl?

I was just reflecting on how much my attitude towards life has changed in the past six or so months, and I was thinking that all the behaviors that are normal to me now would have seemed completely bizarre back then. This is just my take on the roller derby culture; some of these apply to almost everyone, some are reserved for the special few that take it to the extreme, and some are just extremely goofy. I'm not going to tell you how many apply to me. (Hint: too many)

• You can identify everybody's skates, not only visually, but by smell.
• You can't remember the original color of your helmet, there are so many stickers.
• You get $10 haircuts, buy clothes at secondhand shops, and eat ramen noodles for every meal. Why? Because you spent $500 on skates, $180 on wheels and bearings, $100 on pads and helmets, and $200 in yearly dues.
• Your skates cost more than your laptop.
• You no longer respond to your given name.
• You're angry that Facebook won't allow you to go by your alias.
• You've started a petition for Facebook to allow aliases.
• Your non-derby friends simply ask, "So, what hurts today?"
• You've started buying Tylenol in bulk.
• You've started buying IcyHot in bulk.
• You own a brace and/or bandage for every body part.
• You've made voodoo dolls of opposing players.
• You believe that someone has made a voodoo doll of you.
• When you hear the word "panties", you think of the kind that goes on your helmet, not your butt.
• Your get-rich-quick scheme is making helmet panties and selling them on Etsy.
• You hear the word "zebra" and immediately think "ref".
• Your significant other has stopped thinking the term "derby widow(er)" is funny.
• You check Borders weekly for a new copy of Blood & Thunder.
• You own Rollergirls, Kansas City Bomber, and Rollerball (both versions) on DVD.
• You have your DVR set to screen for the term "roller derby" and record all related programs.
• You search YouTube for new bout videos every week.
• You're contemplating paying out the nose for HD cable just so you can watch bouts on MavTV.
• You can't understand why anyone would rather watch any other sport.
• You're beginning to actually *like* PBR.
• You've played the word "WFTDA" in Scrabble.
• You've secretly created derby names for all your non-derby friends.
• Your husband takes the kids to Disney World while you go to RollerCon.
• At work, you stockpile sick days for travel games.
• By the time you get home from practice, you're ready to turn around and go back.
• The mere mention of a sport court makes you shudder.
• You find the phrase "______ by day, rollergirl by night," highly offensive.
• You die a little inside when someone says, "Roller derby? It's back?"
• You've had a heated debate about ranking systems.
• Your ultimate goal is to play derby in the 2016 Olympics. (ha ha)
• The top bookmarks in your browser are: your league's homepage, your league's forum, DNN, FTS, Derbytron, and WFTDA.com.
• You make lists about roller derby while you're at work.
• You've started your own roller derby blog.

Please feel free to add your own comments. It's all in fun!