I'm hoping to begin skating again with a Florida team, and I can't wait to join my Cincinnati Rollergirls tomorrow to watch a scrimmage between the Black Sheep and the Naptown Rollergirls.

Wish me luck!

Live long and prosper,
Captain Painway

As usual, the game will be at the Cincinnati Gardens, first bout starts at 7, and $1 beers from 6-7:30.

I'll be running the scoreboard for this game, so come over and say hi (before the game, during halftime, or after the game, please)!

I did get derby pictures taken yesterday.

Unfortunately, you don't really get to see my new dye job in all its glory. *le sigh* The bottom half is bright red like the front, and it's absolutely glorious (unless you're my mother).

You can see that we have new jerseys this year. They're UnderArmor, so they're extremely cool and stretchy. The black and white is asymmetrical across both the front and back. So sassy!

Here is the 2010 season (so far).  Away games in teal:

• March 27:  Black Sheep vs. San Diego Derby Dolls.  Silent Lambs TBA.
• April 17:  Arch Rival Roller Girls.
• April 24 @ Grand Raggidy Roller Girls.
• May 8:  The Chicago Outfit Roller Derby.
• May 29:  North Star Roller Girls.
• June 19:  Brewcity Bruisers.
• August 7:  Silent Lambs @ ROSI (Rollergirls of Southern Indiana).
• August 28:  Black Sheep @ B.A.D. (Bay Area Derby) Girls.
• August 29:  Black Sheep @ Sacred City Derby Girls.
• September 11:  Black Sheep @ Charm City Roller Girls.

It was also announced that we are getting new uniforms this year.  They will still be black and white jerseys, however they are way cooler looking and are sleeveless (there is an option with sleeves, but I like the tank top myself).

Now that we have the warehouse, we're also having practices five days a week.  Yay for extra practice time, boo for eating into what little free time I have left.

In other news, my new skates are like a dream and a half, except that I tore open a nice blister on my right arch.

It looks even nastier today (oozy...) but its bark is worse than its bite.  I just need to wrap my foot up with some athletic tape (I bought yellow and pink.  Stylin'.) and I should be good to go.  My problem was skating an extremely soft, counterless boot for the past two years.  I'm loving the added support these new skates give me, but I need to adjust my form accordingly.  These Minx skates are so light in comparison, and the Lowboy wheels... well... I want to take them behind the middle school and get them pregnant.  They're that awesome.

I'm having some more knee problems lately, completely out of the blue, but I'm taking it easy to avoid any more doctor's visits.

I have 95% mastered the 180 degree toe stop that I've been working on for months.  I can do it great at slower speeds, but when I get going fast I go all chickenshit and bail out.  One day... *Shakes fist*

Tomorrow is our season kickoff party.  We get to learn who we're playing this season and what other goodies we might have planned for this year.  I'll post the full schedule when I get it.  Right now we have the dates, but not the opponents.

That's it for now!

I must be getting faster, because every time I would go around a turn I would skid out a bit, although I know the dust was giving everybody grip problems. I just like thinking that I'm "too fast for the track".

I totally forgot to take pictures tonight of the warehouse. It'll look better when it's been cleaned on Saturday, but I would have liked a picture of the dustiness. Maybe I'll get a picture of my skates before I clean them off. I'd do it now, but I am so beat right now. My hair is wet like I've been in the shower. So disgusting.

Our Riedell rep, Rich, is coming down from Cleveland on Sunday to sell us all kinds of goodies. I'm thinking about getting some new skates because my old ones, while comfortable, are a bit on the big side and are starting to fall apart. It's actually a pretty interesting story.

I was in a show at the Loveland Stage Company at the time of the fire. I was using my skates in the show and decided to leave them in the dressing room over the two-day break, because I know that otherwise I would have forgotten them. Sure enough, my skates were still in there when the building burned. Luckily, the dressing rooms were in a newer part of the building and were protected by fire doors. However, when my skates were recovered they were covered in soot and soaking wet. I spent days trying to dry them out and clean them up (I did wear them in the final performances), but the water and smoke damage has severely weakened the leather, and the trucks are very prone to rusting.

I love my skates and feel very emotionally attached to them, so I don't want to completely destroy them. I was never going to skate on them again, but my new 265s did not work out last year. They were very painful on my arches.

I'm very interested in getting the 965 boot this time around (this is the "Minx").

I have lace covers on my current skates, and I really want them on my new skates, which is why I like the 965. I also heard that they are pretty comfy once they're broken in.  I like the ankle cushioning as well, since my skates tend to be looser there.

I'd like to have my skates custom dyed, but I have no clue what I would get. I was thinking yellow and black because I love yellow and they would make me think of Bumblebee (Autobots transform!). Maybe like this but in yellow instead of blue:

I really wish they had a silver color like my current skates, but the closest metallic they have is a pretty blue-green that I might consider.

I know I want aluminum plates (nylon plates SUCK!) and Atom Lowboy wheels.  I'm skating on Atom's Omega 2.0 right now, and I'd like to try the Lowboys to see if they really are slightly grippier.

I'm going to be so broke. Minx skates start at $499 without custom colors, and the wheels are another $120. Plus, I should have doctor's bills coming any day now from my two trips earlier this month (thank you ear infection!). At least I can try them on and wish that I had them, right?

BTW, check out Riedell's site, featuring Sadie and her blue custom skates.

I can't believe we're at it again! This year we have 19 newbies. Last year I started with some 8-10 ladies; I don't really remember how many because some of them dropped out right away. I heard the number 50 being said quite a bit. I'm not sure if that's truly the number of active skaters we have or not, but that's basically enough for three teams (14 rostered skaters x 3=42).

Yesterday we moved into a new home. It's this really big warehouse that has a very similar floor to the Gardens. The two main differences are the dirty, dirty floor (which will be cleaned on Saturday) and four beams right in the middle of the floor, but once we find some padding for those it'll be no problem. Our bouts will still be at the Gardens, but it's nice to have a place that is truly ours. If I remember I'll snap some pictures with my camera tomorrow.

I've decided that this year I'm going to try to lose some of this extra weight. As much as I want to be that big, brute blocker, I'm not built like that. I have this tiny little frame and I was well overweight when I first started derby. I'm still overweight. It affects my speed, agility, endurance... everything. *Cue sad trombone*

Last year I started derby weighing about 160 lbs. Yes, I'm telling the truth, I have no shame. I really didn't lose much because I "compensated" for the exercise by overeating. I would get home from practice at 11pm and eat a huge meal. This year I'm not allowing myself to eat after practice (I can have a protein shake), and I'm just really watching my portion sizes throughout the day. It's already working. I started this year at 155 lbs., and today I was down to 145.5. That might seem like a lot in a short amount of time, but I gain and lose very easily, and I feel great! My work pants are falling off!

The derby scenes in particular are amazing.  The way they're shot is very true-to-life and I'm pretty sure that the actresses did most of their own stunts.  I'm using the word "stunts" loosely here, since everything they did has been done by every derby girl I know.  (Except maybe for that two-person leg whip.  That was stunning!)

I was really impressed by the cast.  Not only did they spend months in daily training learning the ins and outs of derby, but the acting was superb.  Kristen Wiig in particular had me cracking up every time she was on the screen.  (She has an extended monologue about having crabs that is just unbelievable.  Really.)  Ellen Page is adorably clueless until she learns to be her own person ("I can grow the balls!")  And Drew Barrymore is that chronically injured player that every team has.  She appears in a neck brace, on crutches, and with a profusely bleeding nose.  When she's not being hurt she's being ejected from the game for punching opposing players.

I feel very honored to have met at least two of the skaters in this movie, Kat Von D'Stroya and Jackie Daniels.  Kat skates for the "Black Widows" and is very recognizable by her many tattoos.  Jackie skates under her own name in the movie, and at one point kicks Bliss' ass as jammer.  My whole team started spontaneously clapping, forgetting that Jackie was supposed to be on the "enemy team".

It was great to see this movie with most of the Cincinnati Rollergirls (minus Sadistic Sadie, who got whisked away on a romantic vacation, and is now engaged!  Congrats Sadie!)  We got to hang out with a lot of our favorite fans, including Earl, who runs Rabid Derby Fan...

and Bob, who took this awesome picture of the two of us and put it on his blog at 5chw4r7z.blogspot.com.

I also was interviewed for the evening news, which is always nerve-wracking for me, but turned out pretty well!  You should be able to find it on Facebook here.

I just wanted to share a few pictures from my latest bit of derbyness: an all-Ohio exhibition at the Ohio State Fair. It was so much fun to be back on skates after such a long break.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2013816&id=188300206&l=fc8fe9b2b2

We started back to practice after a 21-day break. Everybody was in great shape. I'm sure some teams would have a really difficult time getting back into gear, but we're like derby machines. I'm sure everyone is going to be very surprised at regionals.

I got nice rink rash. I'm not a jammer, but I like to pretend I am once in a while. And then I get put in my place.

I'm going to assume that you have already seen the "Whip It" preview multiple times by now, but I'm posting it here anyway. You can never have enough "Whip It". I missed out on that breaking news during my blog break, so here it is:

"Whip It" opens October 9th.

The post Kitsch of the Day - Roller Derby, by Ben Widdicombe, just shows how little people know about modern roller derby. The blockquoted material is the article, everything else is my own commentary.

While designers toy with retro motifs that playfully conjure female empowerment - like pointy, metallic shoulder pads that Linda Evans might have worn had she been in Kiss - off the catwalk, some sisters are doing it for themselves.

Jesus, if you halt the resurgence of shoulder pads, especially pointy, metallic ones, I promise that I will go to church. Look, I'm not even crossing my fingers!

Women's roller derby is enjoying a revival recently noted by outlets including the L.A. Times, New York Times, and CNN. With their sharp elbows

Nope, elbows are illegal.

and lacy bras, athletes with nommes-de-guerre like Paris Kilton and Sandra Day O'Clobber are competing in a revitalized Women's Flat Track Derby Association that lists almost 80 teams nationwide. But all the mainstream media coverage seems to ignore one glaring point about the sport.

That is: Roller derby is a lesbian art form. Seriously. Describing the history of roller derby and leaving out lesbians is like writing a guide to Little Italy and not mentioning Italians.

Wait... How did we make that jump in logic?

A corrective can be found in the short documentary "High Heels on Wheels," a ten-minute film that aired on the Logo network and can be viewed on its Web site. The women interviewed, who competed in roller derby between the '40s and '80s, leave no doubt as to what was going on during those high-speed collisions. "Let's put it this way, my team except for one lady was gay," says one old duck, who looks about 75, sitting on her porch. "It was a freedom that I hadn't experienced before," says another veteran. "It was thrilling to be in an atmosphere where other people were out of the closet."

Let's see... The Logo network says that "the LGBT world has a place all its own with Logo, the new lesbian & gay network from MTV Networks". Is it really all that surprising that their documentary would be looking at the sport from that angle? I won't deny that lesbians were prevalent in the sport fifty years ago. I won't deny that they are prevalent in the sport today. But we are an extremely diverse group. There is no such thing as the "typical rollergirl", we're all so different.

Things have changed a lot in fifty years. The game has changed. Society has changed. I'm proud to be a part of an organization where everybody feels perfectly free to be themselves: gay, straight, or whatever. But to call rollerderby a "lesbian art form" is insulting to the many, many straight and bisexual women who have contributed greatly to the sport.

It's not a "lesbian art form". I don't even want to call it a "female art form" because there are men's leagues popping up all over the country, and they are just as valid as the women's leagues. I want to call it a "sport". One simple little word that seems to ruffle the feathers of every person who is ignorant about roller derby. Anybody who as witnessed the pure athleticism of a bout can't argue that roller derby is indeed a sport, but many people, drawing on stereotypes of the past, never having seen a modern bout, will argue that we don't deserve to be called athletes.

Drawing upon stereotypes instead of personal experience is called ignorance.

The article ends like this:

The rough-and-tumble of roller derby seems a long way from the 80s cocktail hour evoked by the kitschy glamour of the runway. But anyone who remembers the glory days of Linda Evans and Joan Collins will know that they did their best work dressed for a party.

After that is a lovely YouTube montage of Dynasty catfights (you can go to the original article for that. I'm not posting it here). Why? I'm so confused by this article. They're trying to compare the 1950s and 1970s to now? And somehow we're not as *fabulous* as Joan Collins?

Once again, ignorance. I would really like to invite Mr. Widdicombe to go to a local roller derby bout. If he lives in New York he should go see the national champions, the Gotham Girls Roller Derby on July 11th. I have faith that they will change his mind.