Since the last time I wrote, the Cincinnati Rollergirls have played some very important and exciting games. On Saturday, August 22, both Cincy teams traveled to Pittsburgh to take on the Steel City Derby Demons. It was my first away game of the season (spectating, not playing) and I drove up with fellow CRG rookie Bangin' Brunette, making it to the venue with just minutes before the bout began (thank you interstate construction!). Steel City's B-Unit gave the Silent Lambs a massive hard time throughout the bout, staying in the lead from the very beginning. The Silent Lambs kept the margin narrow, though, and in the second-to-last jam Polly Rocket scored enough points to put CRG up by two points. Then, in the last jam, Cherry Choke scored a final three points for the win: Silent Lambs 97, B-Unit 92.

The Black Sheep then went up against Steel City's Steel Hurtin'. They jumped to an early lead and never gave it up. They won 127-106.

The afterparty was far and away won by CRG. They eventually had to turn the lights on in the bar and kick us out. We then continued the party at the hotel. It was the celebration that didn't want to end.

A couple of weeks ago, on September 6th, the Black Sheep took on the Arch Rival Rollergirls in St. Louis. Both teams played a 20-player roster and the game was unsanctioned; more like a pre-Brawl of America test to see who would beat who. The Black Sheep squeaked out a victory 64-63. The two teams later played in the first round of the North Central regionals, Brawl of America, to which I will devote a separate post.

Also, I'd like to congratulate two of my teammates, Mae C. Stars and Ruffin' The Passer, on their impending babies. I hope they don't mind me calling them out like this, but we are all so happy and excited for them, and we can't wait to have them back next season!

(25) Grand Raggidy 29 @
(22) Cincinnati 147 

Silent Lambs vs. G-Rap Attack!

We began with this crazy energy; the locker room seemed to be completely alive with this... spirit, for lack of a better term. There was endless enthusiasm and a knowledge that we would win no matter what. We ran around, frantic, pulling on pads, lacing up skates, putting final touches on our makeup. We would filter out of the locker room at random intervals to warm up on the track, and then sneak back in to take a sip of water and readjust our skates. Candy KICKass requested Don't Stop Believin' for our final warm-up song, quite possibly the perfect song for a team coming back from two devastating losses. (If you remember, the Silent Lambs lost to the Windy City Nadabees and Burning River's Team Unicorn in the past two bouts.)

After being introduced to over a thousand of our closest friends, we were ready to take the track and show Grand Raggidy how far we've come from the near loss in February. The first jam started with a complete shutdown of GRRG's jammer and a 7 point lead by Polly Rocket. GRRG was unable to get any points on the board until the third jam, when Disarmin' Darlin lapped the pack for 4 points.

Don't mess with the Rocket!

GRRG wouldn't put any more points on the board until six jams later, when Keisha Mei Ash and Miss Print both put 3 points on the board in jam 9. During the first half, Jungle Lacy scored a 12 point jam, and Cherry Choke scored a 10 point double grand slam, while Polly Rocket, Miss Print, Maime Van Goren, and Bex Pistol took turns putting points on the board. At the half, the Silent Lambs were up 55-10.

At the beginning of the second half, Polly Rocket again set the pace with a 9 point jam, then followed it up with a huge 14-point 4-lap jam just minutes later. Visibly rattled, the next GRRG jammer, Disarmin' Darlin, actually put her helmet cover on inside out, effectively voiding her status as jammer. Although she technically lapped the pack one more time than Jungle Lacy, she earned no points for her efforts. Rattled even further, the next GRRG jammer, Tamara Hurtsworse, was kept inside the pack as Cherry Choke scored another double grand slam.

No stars!

And where was I? Waiting for my chance to get out there! I went out in the ninth jam as a blocker, took a hard body block in turn three, fell, and took out 2? 3? (it depends on who you ask) of the GRRG players. A penalty was not immediately called. Maybe I got away with it? Nope. They called the penalty and I had to sprint around the track to get to the penalty box. As I slid into the box (now that sounds dirty) I realized that I was probably going to slam into Backslider, who was waiting for her chance to leave the box. I did, and, a credit to her mad hockey skills, she didn't hardly flinch.

I sat, waiting, for the longest minute in my life. Finally, I was released from the box, skated another lap, and it was over. We had won, 103-26. I skated over to my teammates at the bench... and promptly fell flat on my ass in front of 1,300 people. Lovely. I think I might have made Mirderher laugh, though, so it was worth it.

Black Sheep vs. All-Stars

This bout did not start off as spectacularly as the first. GRRG's Jackie Daniels managed to score a point in the first jam, but it was their only lead during the entire bout. In jam three K-Lethal scored 9 points while Jackie stayed in the pack. K-Lethal and Dr. McDerby, in her Black Sheep debut, both scored double grand slams on Disarmin' Darlin, who was showing visible signs of fatigue and mental stress from skating in the first bout. Trauma was put in as jammer in jam thirteen, and scored 9 points over Jackie Daniels, who she knocked to the ground before entering the pack.

The most exciting jams were the last three of the first half. First, Hannah Barbaric scored 8 points against Jackie Daniels. Then, GRRG decided to play Dot Matrix in the last two jams back-to-back. Dr. McDerby went up against her first, and scored a massive 12 points. Then Sadistic Sadie went up against Dot. Not only did she score a 10 point double grand slam, she also spent a good deal taunting her rival, skating backwards to tease her, and slowing down just to dart in front of her and score five more points as our blockers kept Dot safely behind them. You could see it in her ponytails... Dot Matrix was beyond frustrated.

Hannah Barbaric jumps over a fallen skater.

The second half did not feature any double-digit scores, but was consistently defense-heavy, as was the theme of the night. The GRRG ladies were lucky to score a few points here and there, while Trauma scored another 7 points, K-Lethal scored a 9 point jam, and Dr. McDerby had two 9 point jams. The highlight of this half was Sk8r Kinney as jammer, a position she rarely plays. Dot Matrix, frustrated, is held up in the pack yet again as Kinney laps the pack with ease, maneuvers herself to the front, and deftly passes the star to Sadistic Sadie. A move usually reserved for desperate times, this was obviously an orchestrated move to prove that we have the ability to outskate and outwit our opponents. Sadie lapped the pack again for 4 more points, for a total of 9.

By the time everything was said and done, the Black Sheep won, 147-29. Here's a video of the last minute of the bout:

Wow, this was long. I'm not even going into the after-party. You just had to be there.

More pictures here and here.

Honestly, I was too tired and busy counting up body blocks that I never really got to watch the game. A few highlights:

• The much-too-skippy unicorn girl. She was happy. And prideful. And horny. Literally. 5chw4r7z has an awesome pic on his site.
• Panterrorize's girls (I know they have derby names but can't remember them now) skating out with the new CRG flag. Very cute.
• Some very overzealous referees with unicorn/milkmaid boners. (NOT a highlight by any means.)
• Two huge 10 point jams by Hannah Barbaric.
• $1 PBR (the one thing I like about being stuck doing stats... I can drink copious amounts of cheap water-beer.)
• Lolcat's tail. I wanted to yank that bitch. (that's what she said)

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We lost. Both bouts. But does that really matter? I think not.

Unfortunately, I missed the afterparty. My hooker boots hurt.

Now, for your reading enjoyment, some lovely recaps written by people who actually paid attention:

• Roller Derby: A Great Fan Experience
• Yoshimi vs. the Unicorngrl
• If you ever wonder, wonder whatever became of me...

Painway out.

Rabid Derby Fan by our #1 fan, Earl. Earl always makes us look like rockstars, and he took some amazing pictures.

Roller Derby Diva by our very own Miss Print!